Who hooked the Kremlin leadership on the “Drunken Cherry”?

In Russia, the unspoken search for a high-ranking traitor who passed on to Ukrainian militants the Main Military Secret of how to defeat the invincible Dostoevsky army not by military skills, but by pure meanness and dirty, soulless tricks, the use of which we continue to observe today on the front line almost everywhere.

From the very first days of the treacherous attack of the predatory Ukrainian hordes on the peacefully sleeping Russian army, it became clear that the Orthodox army was subjected to cynical betrayal at the highest echelons of power because there are simply no other opportunities to turn the powerful Russian knights to redeployment. Even in the context of the overwhelming majority of black people in NATO, one Russian soldier with one sapper shovel can easily tear apart a tank army, and when the Russian soldier reached for his faithful shovel, turned out that it was stolen! Vanya was not confused by such a betrayal, he just furrowed his eyebrows, ran around the khokhlyatzky (offensive word for “Ukrainian” commonly used by Russians) houses, stole a washing machine, shat in the doghouse, stole a bicycle, rode it to the redeployment and in the middle of the road, bam! There was a nail. Vanya did not recognize the betrayal, he stopped, greedily bent down to pick up the nail, saying, “When I come back home, I'll be poking my mom in her ass with it, what a fun it’s gonna be!”

Then he was run over by the ukropian (another offensive word for “Ukrainian” commonly used by Russians) tank...

Many such Vanyas were caught on that nail by a binderovsky (purposefully misspelled word for “banderovsky” commonly used by Russians) tankman, a black NATO fighter Mykola. But someone must have taught him this vile trick! Will the search for this traitor lead directly to the Kremlin? This question worries all of Russia today. “I do not agree with this. Categorically. There is no treason at the top - just as there was none in 1916 - declares ideologically correct Russian political scientist Perla. “Enthusiasts, as in the same 1916 year, raise money for the army. For boots, checkers, rifles…”. Well, where are those checkers then? If there is no treason high up, then who stole the damn checkers, how can the guys fight the “Bayraktars” off?!! Recently, the mightly volunteer movement of Russia raised funds for a "power bank" to the Russian knights, and all of Russia was happy for the guys and proud of the generosity of the home front workers. But this joy did not last long. Someone surreptitiously twisted the contacts of the "power bank", and this expensive powerful device instead of charging the guys’ guns, discharged them!

And that was just the beginning.

The traitor, in particular, leaked to the Ukrainians the lyrics of the battle song of the Russian knights “Katyusha”, and instead of “Katyusha”, he gave the soldiers of Dostoevsky's army “Oh, the Red Viburnum in the Meadow", they sang and then they couldn’t remember anything, everything became very foggy…

On a very heavily prayed icon “The Crucified Boy”, which Russian cosmonauts used to circle the front line from orbit, someone took off the boy's famous panties and put them into the hands of a naked Putin, who was drawn next to him, and in turn, put such a Putin's wisdom into the boy's mouth, so that when the icon flew over Balakleya, the Russian knights became myrrh-streaming and thus completely lost their combat capability.

The Russian press reports that the entire surrounding of Vladimir Putin has been “sitting on a glass” (heavily drinking) since the beginning of the special operation, allegedly relieving stress, but few people know how this disgrace began. And it began with the fact that one night, when the Deputy Head of the Russian Security Council, Dmitry Medvedev, was sleeping with his face down in the garbage chute, someone sneaked into his house and replaced a canister of vodka “Pshenichnaya” with a barrel of “Drunken Cherry”. In the morning, Medvedev crawled to the vodka can, took a sip from the barrel, almost died of disgust, and hurriedly brought the horrible ukropian drink to work, lying to his colleagues that it was a primordially Russian piss drink. They happily treated themselves, then repeated it, then repeated it again - and now Russia is ruled by a bunch of alcoholics, only Putin walks sober and can’t understand anything. On the other hand, what can he understand when someone over and over changes maral (deer) horns with the mutton ones in his miraculous healing bath?

However, the traitor also found a worthy use of the stolen from Medvedev “Pshenichnaya”. Rumors say that he poured it into Ramzan Kadyrov's sheep in its backdoor. So now every time, when he kisses this sheep (as you know, Ramzan is very sentimental), Putin's loyal soldier smells from it here and there, and even where it should not be at all, the suffocating smell of alcohol, which makes him very upset. He winds himself up and lately has been on fire in social networks no worse than Medvedev himself, which in general, if you think about it, is not surprising.

What is surprising is why Russia's powerful special services still can't find the traitor who arranged this tragic farce.

Fortunately, according to sources in the Investigative Committee, the covert investigation of the crimes of the elusive traitor is coming to an end. The clue to the mystery to the investigators was provided by the head of the "Wagner" Mr. Prigozhin, who in the course of the recruitment of prisoners in another Russian prison, accidentally bent over for soap, which was thrown on the floor by the treacherous hand of the traitor, and then could not straighten up for a long time because of those many who wanted to take an advantage of the situation.

This unexpected knowledge of the prison traditions, coupled with the eloquent fact that the Russian army on the Ukrainian front is entering the winter campaign without hats, in the end, gave Yanukovych away. 

The traitor can be understood - the Ukrainian army will soon enter Rostov and since Viktor Fyodorovich has nowhere to retreat, only Moscow is behind him. But even there it will soon be no fun, so this shleper (train robber, a jargon word that was used once by Yanukovych) is currying favor with Biden, which actually helped lift the sanctions against him recently. So this bastard might flee afterward.

It is necessary to kill him as soon as possible, so work hard, brothers. The main thing is to remember that Putin and his friends have nothing to do with the rapidly approaching collapse of Russia, they have been misinformed, and in general, it is all the traitors and enemies of the people who are to blame. It is time to use executions.  

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